Not I - Samuel Beckett

I absolutely cannot comprehend this. I "youtubed" this and got some absolutely haunting videos. The reading of it is completely horrifying, even though I couldn't get any Rocky Horror Picture Show references out of my head while watching it..

The only thing I can comprehend and get from this is that a seventy year old woman was abandoned by her parents at birth. She was a "tiny little girl," which possibly means she was born prematurely, and she received "no love of any kind."

The rest is more abstract - the buzzing in her head (or skull), what happened April morning, something about cowslips. One of the most interesting parts was when it is stated that she was brought up to believe "with the other waifs" in a merciful God. The Mouth goes on to mention her sins flashing through her mind and her dismissal of the notion of punishment for them.

There is constant repetition of moments, events, phrases throughout, such as the "what?...who?...no!...she!..." I suppose this relates to the title of Not I, as the woman somehow denies the events in her life as those which actually occurred to her.

Everything I've read by Beckett just makes me want to read more from him. And know more about him.

Act Without Words - Samuel Beckett

I took a look through this a bit prior to reading, and decided it'd be a good idea to get a little background on this Beckett fellow beforehand. Extremely interesting man, and his life experiences are obvious in his work.

I also found this, and this, and the website in general, which is pretty enlightening and somewhat amusing.

I looked up some background on Act Without Words, and Tantalus from Greek mythology was mentioned. Tantalus was punished by being forced to stand in a pool of water under a fruit tree. Each time he would bend to drink, the water would recede, and each time he reached for fruit, the branches would raise above his reach.

The protagonist undergoes two births - the first is his birth into the world, when he is thrown into existence from offstage, and the second when he learns how to sufficiently use the tools provided. He's thrown into a world where he knows nothing, and he finally learns to become self-sufficient and rely solely on himself. The protagonist remains unnamed, and he is established as the Everyman.

It is interesting that he eventually gives up altogether. He refuses to acknowledge the persistent whistle or the water floating around his head. This is his new birth of self and of independence.

When he learns to use the tools too well and too sufficiently, they are taken away. The box is pulled from under him, and the scissors, rope, and small box disappear into the sky when he discovers his power to end his life.

Mud - Maria Irene Fornes

Mud is the most haunting play I have yet to read. In my attempt to further understand the complexity yet subtlety of the characters' motives, pains, desires, I came across a review of the play's performance in England in 2003. Despite it's composition date of 1983, the play remains relevant to urban and rural poverty and a woman's struggle for independence.

Everything about Mud is so dauntingly peculiar to me. While I understand Mae's desire for some form of independence and her persistence for an education to achieve such a freedom, everything else about her life. Or Lloyd and Henry's, for that matter. (And it's not just because I can read a pamphlet pretty damn well.)

Oh, I just found another review.

The most interesting aspect of the play is how Fornes constructs scene changes.


At the end of each scene a freeze is indicated. these freezes will last eight seconds which will create the effect of a still photograph.

Exactly eight seconds. I suppose this goes back to how specific a playwright can be with stage directions, or even character description. And as a music major, I can wrap my head around this better when I relate this to composers, especially composers of twentieth century music. (George Crumb, to name one composer who is extremely specific with what he wants from the performance, includes dictation on how the performers should be set up onstage, how many seconds the performers should pause, how many seconds a note should last, etc.).

There is such simplicity in the entirety of the play. The dialogue and dialect of the characters is simple - it is every day conversation. There is so much underlying complexity, however, and it is obvious in the bickering between Mae and Lloyd, and the simple gestures and phrases of affection between her and Henry. Underlying the simple sentences and is Mae's struggle to grab hold of something worthwhile, something that won't tie her down, something that won't make her a slave to the only two men in her life.

It is interesting to me Forne's choice of excerpts from which Mae reads; a hermit crab (Henry), and hermit crab's new home in the shell (Lloyd), and a starfish (Mae). It is an obviously deliberate choice for these animals and readings, and this detail serves to highlight the characters' qualities and motives.

Mae's pursuit is tragic, and in her last desperate attempt to find independence she is taken from that light she sees by the man who barred her from it all along.

I live in the dark and my eyes see only a faint light. It is faint and yet it consumes me. I long for it. I thirst for it. I would dies for it. Lloyd, I am dying.